Once upon a time in Nosgoth
by Insane Dounut
Summary: Well the nosgoth crew are back in action, this time Kain runs out of the beloved liquid that he loves so dearly. No it's not beer, it's hair straightner, This is one scary FF, please R


**A/N: This well… totally messed up fan fiction is one of the many creations of maw –points fingers to self- I don't own any one –mumbles- but I do wish I owned a few :D. ANYWAY, try to enjoy it! Please! R&R. **

**Once upon a time, there was a world that had many hair products; it was badly pouring down in rain that day which led most vampires into shelter (if they where not in shelter then they were extremely stupid) suddenly there was a massive shortage of hair straighter at the Kain mansion/thingo/house? Now at this point in time we decided not to show you the horrors of the vampire lord going physco…Then I thought that there would be no fun in it…I warn you this chapter may cause dangers to your health. **

**Turel was watching his farther running around desperately searching for some hair straighter, ignoring the frantic bashing on the window.**

**Dumah: Hey…what's with dad? **

**Turel: -shrug- he ran out of hair straighter and is still trying to convince himself that there's some left in the house...**

**Dumah: it's kinda scaring me, I've never seen him this frantic since you went to scouts and-**

**Turel: PLEASE DO NOT REMIND ME!**

**Dumah: okay then….where is every one. And, what's that tapping noise, besides the rain?**

**Turel: Oh, that's just Raziel, I told him to him to play in the rain…**

**Dumah: -turns around and sees Raziel's banging franticly on the window- Ah… that would explain a bit…I'm surprised dad hasn't turned to the alcohol ye- ah now I see the empty vodka and Jin bottles. I might hide on the couch with you. **

–**Dumah joined him peering over the back of the couch his back turned to the t.v. and behind that the large window that Raziel was banging and seemed to have smoke pouring off him.-**

**Kain: DAMN IT! I NEED THAT HAIR PRODUCT! Shhh… calm down Kain, there might be some up stairs, yes, I'm sure there is some up there, -Kain skips up the stairs flying his legs and arms every where- **

**Turel: -snicker- he has checked up there three times, popcorn?**

**Dumah: yeah why not.**

**As the boys continue to place bets on when Kain was going to crack and start on the massive keg that he had been saving for quite a while, While ignoring the cursing screams of Raziel outside.**

**Zephon and Rahab where thrown roughly down the stairs as they tumbled down they heard Kain screaming at them cursing them for accusing them of hiding his hair treatment some where. **

**Zephon: muh? Has he gone into the alcohol yet? **

**He received many nods, as he joined his scrambling bother Rahab to the couch. **

**There was a sudden sissy scream from the bathroom as Kain discovered that the real fact was; there was defiantly, no hair products left...**

**There was a sudden scream from all the brothers as the front door was flung open as steaming rain crashed in, giving a very dramatic affect for the shadowed figure.**

**All (besides Kain who went to the wine cellar): -shudder in sudden fear and worryness-**

**The sudden blackened figure lunged dangerously at the boys who scattered and ran in directions finally it found its prey, with clawed hands; it began to strangle its "beloved" brother Turel. The others recovered with shock only to find the steaming figure was Raziel and continued watching Kain with the forever-lasting popcorn. **

**Dumah: well…that went well, who forgot to lock the door?**

**Zephon: -whistles innocently- **

**Rahab: Hey, where is Melchiah?**

**Zephon: last time I saw him he was chasing that Janos guy because he stole his hat… **

**Dumah: his lucky hat?**

**Zephon: -nods-**

**Rahab: YAY! That thing started to smell…**

**All: -nod their heads in agreement-**

**Kain sudden skips down the stairs, his normally straight hair was a sudden mass of curls **

**Raziel: OH GOD! THERE IS NO LORD! **

**Elder god: -appears next to his ear- yes there is!**

**Dumah: -squeals and faints- **

**Raziel: I'm sorry elder god but normal people might find you kinda scary, and plus your messing the house up.**

**Elder god: -starts crying like a sissy and flails his hands around- FINE! BE LIKE THAT! I KNOW WHEN NO ONE LOVES ME!**

**All: -stop and watch the elder god shrivel up into a little pile of purple goo-**

**Zephon: Eww…**

**There was a sudden silence as they all stopped and listened to their screaming father in the background, who was doing the cha-cha like a little girl.**

**Turel and Raziel sat there for a while staring at each other before Raziel suddenly relised that he was meant to be strangling Turel, so he pounced and dragged him off screen, knocking the main camera demon over.**

**All the brothers suddenly screamed as a darkened figure suddenly crawls out of the tiny window above the toilet, suddenly getting stuck half way through, cursing the idea of having wings.**

**Janos: A LITTLE HELP HERE? Damn vampires just like their father I tell you…**

**Turel: should we help him?**

**Zephon: he's stuck there; he can't do any thing to us…can he?**

**Janos: OF COURSE, I CAN! Stupid kids, don't know how to treat their elders…**

**Dumah: nah…he's just bluffing.**

**Rahab: so what do you guys want to do? Dads run off to his room and locked his doors**

**All: -shiver, the noises coming out of there where not pleasant, it sounded like a dying cat on speed with a Licence to play bagpipes out of his butt-**

**Zephon: let's find Melchiah, give him the royal flush, and watch his face melt off…**

**All: -agree with the good idea but look at the pouring rain out side, with the look of wistfulness-**

**Turel: you know what? Let us wait until he gets here to get him!**

**Raziel: good idea**

**The end of chapter one! Next one is to be here soon…you may go and release your bladder now.**

**A/N: well that was the first one! Will Janos get unstuck from the toilet window? Will we find out what Kain got physco over when Turel went to scouts? Will Kain go insane from not having the wonderful liquid that he loves so dearly? Will this story ever get entertaining? I have no idea… but I have a little hint what will happen in the next chapter or the next one, or the next…**

… **Raziel: HA! I AM BACK! WITH A NEW AND IMPROVED BODY! WITH WINGS! (Gestures to his skin and bone figure and large wings behind him) do ya' find me sexy?**

**Janos: RAH! There is another of my kind? What bad luck! First, I am stuck in a window, and now I am not special any more because I'm not the last kind. Bugger this!**

… **Kain: OH GOD YOU R HERE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR DAYS-**

**Janos: Actually, it has been 10 minutes…**

… **Janos: -sulks- fine! I'll just die then.**

**Dumah: well to tell you the truth you are dead, Raziel killed you in his first life. **

**Janos: OH SHUT UP! I ALREADY KNOW BOY!**

… **Melchiah: com' on Turel tell us what happened in scouts?**

**Turel: FINE! Just no more care bear songs! One time at scouts…it involves a carrot, dad and Barney. **

**A/N: ha! No more or else there would be no point in writing more would there? **

**Good night all, this is cactus news singing off……………………cactus news………………**


End file.
